Job searching – especially the interview process – is like dating. Actually, it may be worse.
On an interview, you’re being judged on everything –your appearance, the way you answer questions and your qualifications – as soon as you walk in the door. Afterwards, you play the waiting game. Should you call or email? Will it make you look desperate?
There’s a ton of information out there on interviewing tips and what you should do to land the job – how to answer questions, how to dress, how to showcase your weaknesses as strengths, etc. I’ve read things about the amount of makeup you should wear to the books you should say you’re reading. For the most part, I think it’s all bullshit. If you’re not yourself on an interview – or on a date – you’re just misleading people into thinking you’re something you’re not. And, that just leads to future frustrations and breakups.
Since graduating from college, I’ve had three jobs and been on a ton of interviews. I’ve been rejected more times than I care to think about. It hurts every time – it doesn’t matter if I wanted the job or not. It’s never fun to not be wanted by someone – whether they’re a potential employer or boyfriend. And when you’re in the middle of an all out job hunt, you can be rejected by so many different people at the same time. How are you supposed to keep your sanity and stop your confidence from shattering?
Recently, I was approached by a pretty well known company about a management position. It’s a pretty cool feeling to be sought after – this was the first time it had ever happened to me.
I walked into the initial interviews confident and prepared. I left thinking that I nailed both of them and that they’d be crazy not to bring me back for the second round.
The next morning, I sent out my thank you emails and immediately got a response back from the HR rep asking if I had gotten her voicemail from last night. I panicked and wondered how I could have missed her call. But when I checked my voice mail, there was her message asking if I’d be interested in continuing the process.
I was convinced that their quick response meant that they loved me…and that I just needed to be my amazing, professional self during the second round, and the job would be mine.
But that doesn’t mean I didn’t obsess over the preparations. I bought a new black power suit and Guess heels for the occasion. I stressed over what top to wear under my suit and finally decided on a cute yellow belted Bebe blouse. I perfected my portfolio. And, I went over and over interview questions and scenarios in my head.
By the morning of the interview, I was ready to knock their socks further off. And again, I left feeling like I did.
They had told me that they hoped to make a decision in about a week. For the first couple days, I still felt great about things. As it got closer to the one week mark, I started to have a sinking feeling. They had been so quick to call me back last time, and the longer it went without hearing from them, the less confident I started to feel.
Every time my phone rang or I got a new email, I wondered if it would be them. My BlackBerry was attached to my hand. I slept with it. I took it to meetings. I constantly checked my voicemail just in case they had called at the same time as someone else and were thrown right into voicemail.
I also replayed every question and my response; there was not one thing I would change. I stepped up to the plate and brought my A game in the whole process. I tried to convince myself of various different things that would cause so much time to pass without hearing anything – maybe there was a death in a family or a crisis they were dealing with.
I thought about calling them…just to check in, but I didn’t want to appear desperate. They had recruited me; I wanted them to think they needed me more than I needed them.
After two full weeks passed, I knew I wasn’t getting the job. I had really gotten my hopes up. I’m okay with my current job situation, but this would have been a few steps in the right direction for my career…and lately, I’ve been feeling that’s exactly what I need. Plus, it would have been a considerable pay jump. I had convinced myself that this was the perfect job for me.
So, the realization that I wasn’t getting it was not good. I was mad that I hadn’t even gotten a phone call or email to let me know for sure – it allowed the tiniest sliver of hope to creep in that maybe they did still want me. But, I decided that I needed to move on – mostly for my own sanity – and for my friends who were patiently listening to me go on and on about the situation.
I mourned the lost opportunity. I drank a bottle of wine and watched sappy movies. My boyfriend didn’t understand what I was doing. I tried to explain that I was giving myself one night to be upset about it and then I was going to be done. He just looked at me like I was nuts and asked, “Do you really want your career to be writing about hot dogs?”
And to be honest, no I didn’t. But I didn’t want to be rejected either.
